Previously on Hang Up…

Timo: I haven't been on a single date in 18 months.

We met our Star, Timo.

Timo: Are you serious, though? Oh, my God yes.

And we met Timo’s six Callers.

Callers: Hi. Hello!

They got a shot at impressing Timo, in a seven minute Speed Dial date. All left a strong impression. 

Timo I'm just, I’m fanning myself.

But in the end, one Caller got the hang up.

Ryan: Talk to y'all later. Well, I guess not, but I'll think of you.

Welcome to Hang Up, a reality dating show with no rings attached. I’m your host, Zakiya Gibbons. Here’s how the show works. Our Star Timo has six Callers vying for their affection.

Callers Hi! Hola. 

Every week, our Star goes on a themed date with each Caller. All of these dates happen exclusively over the phone.

Muriah I feel like I could talk to you for hours.

The Star and their Callers never see each other and at first, can’t describe how they look. And they all change their names so they can’t find each other outside of the show.

Cedar If we connect you’ll be Ursula, I’ll be Jafar

The Callers have only one date per week to stand out from the crowd. But if they can’t establish a clear connection, they risk getting the hang up, eliminating them from the show.

The Star hangs up on one Caller each week.

Muriah Oh, don't make me cry. 

This week, five Callers remain: Cedar, Billy, Salix, Ness, and Muriah.

To stay on the line, they must win over Timo. And in the end, the winning caller has a choice to make: an all expenses paid vacation with Timo sponsored by Both & Apparel. Or, hang up on them, and take a cash prize of one thousand dollars.

Timo: Are they really competing for me or are they competing for the prize, right? Or am I the prize? 

The Callers aced the speed dial date, but now it’s time to slow down for some quality time. In this episode, the Touch Tone Date. 

Each Caller must curate a special package for their second date with Timo. This is the only time they can exchange more than words.

Timo What's in the box? What's in the box? 

Who will go the distance? Whose number will be blocked?

Billy: I'm here for all the, like, tingles.

Find out this week on Hang Up.

Timo Hi, Zakiya.

Zakiya Hi, Timo.

Timo Long time, no talk. It's been a whole week. 

Zakiya I know. Yeah. It's amazing to hear your voice. How are you doing? 

Timo I'm doing really well. I had a little spring in my step all week. Just kind of playing through how things went last. You know, when I had my first round of dates. 

Zakiya Oh, that's amazing. You had an extra spring in your step. I know the feeling. I guess you had that but like times. 

Timo Six. 

Zakiya Six. Yeah. 

Timo Even though I had to say goodbye to one, I still felt like all, all six of those dates were really, really fun. 

Zakiya Okay, well, before we dive into the dates, I need to know what your first blush impression of the callers were because they were so hype to be on the hang up hotline and to meet you, weren't they?

Timo Yeah, it was a wild… It was like it was a wild little crowd.

CLIP:

Cedar So I'm going to win that, too. And I'm going to win that.

Muriah No, I'm going to win it.

Timo I'm just in there going like, okay, all right. We got to talk about Cedar. Cedar is oh, Cedar is a handful. 

CLIP:

Cedar: When you want something you have to be in the front of the pack.

I just love them. 

Zakiya You like the spice? 

Timo I do. I do, yeah I kind of like that, and then I liked yeah, I just liked how a couple other people were just sort of bucking up against that and not just letting that slide. It was like, okay, we got some bones. People have some bones. That's good. 

Zakiya Okay. So those were like, checkmarks in your book. It was kind of giving these people some points. 

Timo One thing that maybe gives me pause is like, are they really competing for me or are they competing for the prize, right? Like, or am I the prize?

Zakiya Okay. So I wasn't there for the dates. And Caitlin did fill me in a little bit, but I need to know everything. 

Timo I brought my notes, I brought my glasses. 

Zakiya Oh, yes notes. Are any of the Callers clearly in the lead? 

Timo Ooh, you know, that is that is a tricky one to say. But I would I would say probably Billy.

CLIP

Billy: Wanna date? Want to try a date?

 and Ness are in the lead for me right now. 

CLIP

Ness: I used to wear my hair in cornrows when I was in high school.

Zakiya Ooh, let's start with Ness. Why? Why is Ness in the lead? 

Timo She has a very good, relaxed, but also present vibe that I appreciated. And she really came out of like left field. Like at first, you know, I asked a question about what's the last book or like series you watched that you got excited about and she was talking about Ren and Stimpy. And that really threw me. That really threw me. And I was like what? And she's like, Yeah. And also, I was recently watching Murder She Wrote. 

Zakiya Oh, Okay, So she's in a mode and in a nostalgic mode and I could see you, I'm still getting to know you, Timo, but I could see you appreciating that. 

Timo Yeah. And also just the fact that, you know, these two these two shows, both Ren and Stimpy and Murder She Wrote are kinda from the same era, right? And also but they are wildly different. So I was like, I was into it. I was like, okay, this is some critical media literacy, I think, happening here and I'm down for it. 

Zakiya Could you see yourself maybe one day snuggling up with Ness and watching Ren and Stimpy? 

Timo Totally, yeah. What kind of snacks we got? I'm down. 

Zakiya Ooh. We got to get the Christmas enchiladas. 

Timo That's right. Oh, so good. 

Zakiya Okay, Ness. You also said Billy stood out as a front runner. Tell me more. 

Timo Oh, okay. First off. Okay, One of the questions that I asked a few people, not everybody, was if there was one language that you could learn, like immediately, you know, just become fluent in with no effort, what language would you choose and why? And she actually gave me three and they all tied together and really, really brilliant. The first thing she said was Spanish. But then she went on and said, ASL, as in American Sign Language and MSL as in Mexican sign language and talked about her work in migrant support at the border and how useful it would be to to be able to communicate in that way. 

Zakiya Wow. 

Timo For that work. And I was like, Whoa, okay, I'm sliding off my chair now. This is great. And I asked her another one of the questions that I asked a few people, which was, if you could create a museum exhibit, what would you what would it be about? You know, and she went on to talk about ethno botany and like plant uses in terms of like colonization and the changes in landscape and, and talking about gamifying it. So I'm just like bing, bing, bing, bing. All my lights are lighting up. They're just like, this is amazing. 

Zakiya Oh, my gosh, Billy, sounds well, okay, let me not push, you know, tip the scales too much. I'm going to say Billy is perfect for you, but this sounds like very specifically compatible with your intellectual interests, your vibe. That is so exciting. Let's move on. Who do you want to talk about next? 

Timo Let's talk about Muriah next.

CLIP

Muriah: Dang, check you out.

 I really enjoyed my call with Muriah. Find out that she's she's kind of a jock, which, you know, I kind of like that. She plays basketball, She does roller derby. I was like, dang, you're tough. 

Zakiya Yeah, Yeah. Roller derby people are tough. 

Timo Tough. I was like, ooh, and I like to play basketball. 

Zakiya Oh, so maybe y'all could do a pickup game. Would you ever play with Muriah? 

Timo Absolutely. That I was like, okay, I could find somebody to play basketball with. That'd be great. But also, like that roller derby, I'm like, Please don't hurt me. Yet. You know what I mean? Yet.

Zakiya I was gonna say yet. Also, Muriah was one of the ones who was going toe to toe with Cedar. 

Timo Yeah. And she's got that competitive jock thing in there. And I kind of liked how she was showing up and being like, uh uh, you know, Cedar, you don't just get to, like, run away with this. 

Zakiya Okay, who else? 

Timo Salix. Can we talk about Salix? Oh, my God. 

CLIP

Salix: I make my own web comic. I’ve been working on the project for a long time, a few years, but I just in the last year started releasing it.

Salix is awesome. I think one thing that gives me pause about Salix is that they are a bit younger than me than I would typically go for. 

Zakiya Remind me how, how old are they and why did that give you pause? 

Timo Salix is 31. And yeah, I think I think it's also because, like, I became a parent pretty young, I was like 23 when my oldest was born. And it just, I don't want to say it like ages you in a bad way, but it is something that kind of makes it a little harder to relate to people sometimes, not that I know that about them, that they haven't had that experience, but it's just like, I don't know, you know?

Zakiya No, that's fair what you're saying I hear you. 

Timo Yeah, but at the same time, Salix came off to me as one of the most, most emotionally intelligent of the group. I really felt that connection for sure. 

Zakiya So so the only thing that's giving you pause about them is the age thing. And not that you're saying red flag, but you're like, okay, noticed, noted. 

Timo Just noted. But they are also like really, really incredibly compelling to me. We had a lot in common in terms of like, this was something funny with Salix and me, they talked about how that they tend to have like crushes on their friends a lot, you know, And like, they're very friendship centered. 

Zakiya Yes. 

Timo And I relate to that so hard. I would date, like all my friends pretty much. 

Zakiya That is so relatable. Okay. So let's move on to Cedar. How was your Speed Dial date with Cedar?

CLIP

Cedar: Oh, damn. We're going that deep

Timo Oh, my God. Cedar Cedar. Cedar is like going to the state fair, and you just have like, a handful of tickets and you don't know where to go first. Okay? All these rides, all this information, blinking lights coming at you. I really do love love Cedar. I think that they are quite, quite the character. And I want to hear I want to hear more about them because honestly, when I was like hearing their interactions with the people in the group call and I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Like maybe they're a little too much of a handful. But then we went and got down to it in our call and gosh, they're able to switch, you know, pretty quickly, like snap from being that bubbly, you know, kiki all over the place to like having some serious answers. And I appreciate that a lot because that's that's kind of how I am a lot of the times, too.

Zakiya Yeah. No, you're all about balance, introversion, extroversion, the playfulness and the seriousness.

Timo Oh, that's the thing. Cedar is playful, playful, like joyful, childlike spirit in in like, the best way. 

Zakiya Ooh. We like em verse. Yes. Someone who can do both and bring all of the energies. I love that. It sounds like cedar excites you and you really appreciate them a lot. Yeah. And that they bring something really unique. So why isn't Cedar a frontrunner? 

Timo Gosh, that's a good question, here's something that they give me pause about Cedar was like because Cedar is like just this free flowing, bolt of energy kind of feeling. I think that sometimes they have trouble slowing down and sort of listening and picking up on what's happening around them. So I don’t know that’s why.

Zakiya Yeah OK well, that leaves us with our, with the last Caller. The Caller who got the hang up. Ryan.

CLIP

Ryan: I just got dumped, but I'm feeling good.

So tell me about your speed dial date with Ryan. 

Timo I think our date was like, it was pretty good actually. Like, they seemed really chill. They just didn't make as much of an impact, I guess. And I think, like, I just didn't get, I didn't take as many notes. So I feel like there just wasn't as many things that kind of like rang my bell. It wasn't anything didn't was a bad sign. It's just I didn't have as many points of like, ooh, that I wrote down, if that makes sense. 

Zakiya No, that makes a lot of sense because, you know, it's kind of the point of the Speed Dial dates. It's like regardless of exactly what people said and how they answered your questions, like who rang your bell? You know, and the bell wasn't ringing. So let's talk about the hang up. Making that choice seemed really difficult for you. Why was that? 

Timo Oh

Zakiya And not in like a bad critical way, but it's just like aw Timo's heart. Like I feel that this is hard for them.

Timo Yeah. I just hate letting people down. I hate disappointing people. And it was just so fast and kind of felt a bit arbitrary because it is just like a very cursory impression. I do go through a very intense period of processing and gathering information usually before you make a decision. And that just felt like, nope, you got to just like, do this right now. And I was, like, ah, okay. 

Zakiya We have five more hang ups to go. So do you think hanging up on people is going to get easier or harder? 

Timo It's gonna get harder. That's the problem. You know what I can only hope for is that my connection with a couple one or two people will be so strong that it'll become easier to figure out who I should, you know, release and and who I should give more attention to. But I don't know that it's going to get any easier to just be like, byeee. 

Zakiya I'm so excited for you and this next round of dates. So let's get into it. Because as you know, the theme of this date is Touch Tone. We know you're a curator and this is a chance for you to sit back and relax and have a date curated for you. As we speak, each of your five remaining Callers are putting together some items that will be sent to you in a special delivery before your date. And this will be the only time you get to exchange more than words, because when you get the box, you'll unpack it with them over the phone. So how does that sound? 

Timo It sounds really exciting. And I'm also like, what's in the box? What's in the box? 

Zakiya Yes, I love a mystery box. So what do you hope the callers include in their boxes for you? Like what's inside Timo's dream box?

Timo What’s inside my dream…? My dream box, stop it. Keeping it PG. I think my dream box would have in something for me to engage each one of my senses. It could be as simple as like a twig in their garden from their lemon tree. And they, you know, put it in there and in there like, okay, you have to snap it and then smell it. So you can kind of get a sense of like, that's where I drink my coffee every day next to my my lemon tree or something like that. And also, if there's weed. 

Zakiya Is there a box that you would receive that would be like, is there a bad mystery box?

Timo Okay. You know what would be a really nightmare for me is anything from Bath and Body Works because those smells are so strong and like artificial to me that kind of, you know, like, I can't I can't do that, kinda gives me a headache every time I walk by one in the mall. So or if anything's like leaking or gross and sticky, I'm going to be like, you know, put a little more care, if it's like a mess in there. And I'm like, trying to figure out what's what. That might be a little disconcerting for me. 

Zakiya Yeah, that would be extremely off putting opening up a box filled with goop with just like shit leaking out. I would not like that. No wet boxes just yet. 

Timo Exceptions do apply. 

Coming up, Timo gets all the boxes and packages they can handle.

Timo: This is not even half of it oh my god Muriah what were you doing?

That’s after the break. Stay on the line!

We’re back. I’m dialing in now to listen in on Timo’s dates. First up is Billy.

Billy: Hey Timo. How are you?

Timo: I'm doing really well. I've been really excited all day because I've seen your package. 

Billy Oh cool. That's great. It was pretty fun to make. 

Timo Oh, my God. I’m so excited. Okay. Okay. Sorry. Go ahead. 

Billy No, you're good. I guess I thought you'd opened it. So this was really fun to hear your surprise. Definitely, like, offered like a bed of, like cottonwood leaves and like the essence of fall slowly arriving. 

Timo Yeah. So there's also a cottonwood seed in here. But what I want to also, like, pull out right now is this little device and I know exactly what it’s for. And it's one of these little device that you put on your head. And it like, gives you a little scalp massage. 

Billy Yeah, I'm here for all the, like, tingles, head tingles I think are very important and that thing really stimulates that. 

Timo This, I can't tell you. Like, this is one of my favorite things ever. And I'm kind of like having trouble even forming words because I'm like, rubbing my head. 

Billy Good. Positive sensory experiences absolutely the objective. And that seed is from a London plane tree, I think is one of it's common names. It looks a lot like a sycamore and that is like a little on the interactive side, if you like rub it really tough, the seeds will come away from it and it's kind of one of my favorite experiences. If you kind of massage it, I also have to like be wary because I know my hands are ultra strong, but I think most people's hands can just kind of like massage. It'll start to expose the seeds. 

Timo I just did it too. You have strong hands, too, huh? Yeah. We may have to do like, you know, some arm wrestling or something. 

Billy Oh, my gosh, I love arm wrestling. I am number two in northern New Mexico arm wrestling. I'm here for it. 

Timo No. Okay, Wait. Okay. And now there's another little Ziploc bag here, and I have a little fragment of cloth in it. It looks like a kind of a plaid. What is this? What is this? 

Billy Yeah. So that is one of my old farm shirts that I've turned into, you know, a reusable cloth. I put some oil in there that is like one of my favorite fragrances. And usually what my face smells like. 

Timo That’s what you smell like? Okay like, like huffing it. Oh, really. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So it's like something you've worn and loved. This is a beautiful box. 

Billy Yeah. Thanks It was pretty fun. 

Timo You're just like, nature gal. Yeah. I just want to know about this nature gal. 

Billy Totally. Yeah, that is complex answer is sure. I think the beginnings of that in all truth is because I live in pretty unsheltered formats when I was younger. So a lot of like living out of a vehicle or tent or something. So like naturey spaces were like my home and in my like very early existence. And then when we would live in urban spaces, I, I'm so hot for urban nature. It's like kind of my specialty at this. It basically, like, translated into me like learning to farm from my white trash family, extended family and then like wanting to do like wildlife rehabilitation and then eventually like experiential learning. That was like an environmental emphasis. 

Timo That's awesome.

Billy Some of my like justice work has been around like around sex work, I'm like, really want to put on like, basically like a strip show outside on a farm. 

Timo Oh, my God. Wait what? 

Billy Yeah. I want to. I want to bring all of these all of these things together. 

Timo I'm imagining, like, hay bales in stadium style seating. 

Billy Yes. Yes, precisely. 

Timo Wow, I love this. This is like. So there's a little bit of exhibitionism I'm hearing. I mean, I don't mean to, like, jump to that. 

Billy No, I people have explained that to me. It took me 39 years to understand that's what that’s what that was. Yes. 

Timo Yes. I didn't it's not like definitely not passing judgment because it's very much in my lane. But like, yeah, I'm just like, Oh, it's out there. I love that. 

Billy Yeah. You you exhibitionism is in your lane? Is that a descriptor for yourself maybe? 

Timo Yeah. A little bit. A little bit. I would say I've been very liberal in my search for pleasure in the great outdoors, you know what I mean?

Billy Awesome, amazing!

Timo Yeah. So I'm down.

Billy What are your— aside from exhibitionism and the great outdoors, what are other pleasure spaces for you? 

Timo Oh, if you want know. Kind of like almost anywhere. I could get away with it. It's really bad, definitely on the trails, definitely on the trails, It's a great place. As long as you know how to avoid that poison ivies and stuff with the little scritches and scratches or whatever. That's fine. 

Billy: Yeah.

Timo Thank you, Billy, I really enjoyed it. And I'm going to be sniffing that flannel square tonight. 

Billy Yes! I hope it brings good dreams. 

Ding ding ding! Sounds like we found our farmer slash stripper. Nature gal has got some tricks up their sleeve. Let’s hear how the next date goes with Muriah.

Timo Hi, Muriah. How are you? 

Muriah I'm a little banged up, but I'm doing great. Otherwise. 

Timo Oh, my gosh. 

Muriah Yeah. I went to a concert last night and I got in the mosh pit and. Oh, got stomped on a little bit. But it's okay. I'm not broken. I'm just a little bit sore, but I'm good. 

Timo Oh, my God. That sounds like fun. You. So you're. You're ready to get in a mosh pit, huh? 

Muriah Oh, yeah. 

Timo Nice. Well I have your incredible bag here. It is an extra, extra large gift bag with beautiful foil paper and everything. It's gorgeous. 

Muriah I'm nervous. I didn't know what to get,. 

Timo Well whatever you got, you got a lot. Because this is huge. Like. Yeah, Okay, well, I'm opening up and taking some tissue paper out. Oh, wow, This is awesome. What in the world, there's so much. 

Yeah… there really is *so* much. So we’re gonna speed this up a little.

There's popcorn. corn nuts, two different flavors…We got a Snickers. Skittles. Gummies. This is not even half of it oh my god Muriah what were you doing? This is awesome... Oh, my God. I love this this is cute, it’s a rainbow shape poof scrubber. Oh, here's more bath products… This tshirt, oh my god, it’s My Little Ponies, “let yourself be free.” Oh, are these movies? Oh, yeah. I think that's a movie. We got some Halloween movies. Beetlejuice and Gremlins, Exorcist, Friday the 13th,This is like the neverending box. There’s like everything in here. 

Muriah And see, like the whole theme was like I'd run you a nice bath and you can do all of that stuff, the whole exfoliation thing and I'd be making dinner for you, and then we'd watch movies and have snacks and stuff afterwards if, if you wanted some snacks and stuff. So yeah, that's, that's what I was thinking. 

Timo And I come out of my bath and put on this adorable My Little Pony shirt and I'd be all cozy. And I’d smell divine. 

Muriah Of course, I wanted to get you flowers and, like, a bottle of wine or champagne and or something, but I was like, You know what? I'm going to wait. When I meet you in person. I'm going to take you this stuff. 

Timo Oh, in person!

Muriah Oh, yeah. Well, you know, in person,. 

Timo Speaking of, You and Cedar were really were having it out a little bit. Yeah. So cute. 

Muriah I was like, Excuse me, Who do you think you are? 

Timo You're a basketball player, you roller. Just like you're all into that. So I feel like you're competitive, you know? 

Muriah I am. I really am. 

Timo That's cool. tell me more about your competitive streak. Did you have like a competitive family? Did you play sports like that kind of thing? 

Muriah No, actually, I'm pretty much the only one in my family who plays sports. I've been an athlete my whole life. I've been an actress. This has been since I was very young. 

Timo So that is that, you know, mostly your, that’s your career focus is in entertainment?

Muriah I don't really know anymore. I'm kind of like going back and forth on different things. I want to have my own business. I want to maybe someday get out of New Mexico and move up to Colorado, because I'm such a huge fan of mountains and being outdoors. I would take you there and we would camp. If you're into camping, are you into camping? 

Timo I am. In fact, I used to go at least once a year. I would set aside time where I would go solo camping because I find it, like, really good for my mental health. Yeah, Yeah, it's really good. And I've, you know, I've taken my kids camping quite a bit. 

Muriah So you said you have kids? I'm sorry. Go ahead. 

Timo I do have kids. I have two. Do you have any kids or…Or no? 

Muriah Yeah, I do. She just turned 22 in August, and she's just my whole life. And I'm sure your kids are for you, too. 

Timo Yeah. Yeah, they really are. So you just have the one?

Muriah Yeah, I just have the one. And actually she's like, I didn't give birth to her. I was with her mother. And she ended up cheating on me and getting pregnant. I broke up with her. I took her back. And like, the greatest miracle of my life was my daughter.

Timo Wow.

Muriah So, yeah, she's just amazing. Like, she puts me in my spot when I get out of hand sometimes, you know, she's like. She's like, “Muriah, you need to listen to me.” And I'm like, okay.

Timo Having that having that relationship is incredible. It's it's like what you're describing is very similar to my daughter and I. You know, I was 23 when I when I had her. So I was still very much like figuring things out. And her bio dad was abusive. And so when we got out of that, it was just her and I for a long time. And it’s just a bond there. You know, there's like a really, really deep bond and she definitely also puts me in my place. It's good, though. I'm grateful for it. 

Muriah Definitely. Like I'm actually learning from from them. You know, instead of them learning from me, I mean, yes, they’ll learn from me some stuff. But like, yeah, so kids these days, like, it's it's just incredible. 

Timo That's the biggest marker to me of like hallmark of a good relationship between parents and kids is what you just said, is that like parents that are, you know, have the humility and the openness and the grace to also know that they're learning from their children, not just delivering knowledge to them. There's an exchange and deepening of emotional growth between both beings. Like that is where I see parents actually, you know, being invited into their adult children's lives. Like your daughter is still close with you and wanting a relationship with you. And that means, like you did a great job. You know, they still want to keep you around afterwards. 

Muriah Oh, don't make me cry. 

Timo It does. It makes me kind of mist up sometimes too where I'm just like, I am so lucky, you know? Especially if you've come from things where there's been some attachment stuff or, like, family issue, parent issues, like, I'm not close with my parents. It was a really difficult childhood and I just wanted things to be better for my kids and have the kind of childhood where they do want to keep keep me around after they're raised. 

Muriah I feel like I could talk to you for hours. 

Timo I know, I feel like we just got like, we're just getting into it. Like, we got so much more to talk about. 

Muriah I know, right? 

So much to talk about, so many snacks to eat, so many movies to watch, so many baths to take. But we don’t have time for all of that right now, so let’s hear from our next Caller, Salix.

Timo So I have your bag here. This beautiful gift bag. Can I open it? Is it all right? 

Salix Yeah. Go for it. 

Timo Okay. Awesome. First off, I see here a beautiful bottle of cab sauv from a vineyard called Psyche. This looks amazing. Before you even go on, I'm going to pour myself a little bit of this. Priorities, you know. Ooh I see we've got some sharp cheddar here. And we've got a caramel, sea salt, dark chocolate. This looks good. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And then a bag of mystery. Oh, what is this? 

Salix So I was, like, trying to think, like, I don't know, at least for me, when I'm on dates, like, I like to have, like, some sort of, like, activity to do cause otherwise, it might get kind of awkward. And I was like, well, I was like, well we can like drink some wine, have some cheese and some chocolate. Everybody likes cheese and chocolate. Call it like a deconstructed charcuterie board, I guess. Yeah. And so in the bag of mysteries, I kind of just like, came up with a bunch of different questions and like, thought you could just, like, pick out a random question from the bag of mystery. And then read it out loud and then we just like both answer it. 

Timo I love that. Okay. Here we go. Question number one What is a lesson you've learned about yourself from previous relationships? Ooh, straight into it. 

Salix To the hard questions, I was like maybe we'll get something light. 

Timo You know what? It really appeals to me. I'm not good at small talk, so this is great. Okay, so to answer the question, what's the lesson I learned about myself from my previous from previous relationships? Oh, there is a difference between acts of service and acts of self-sacrifice. 

Salix Oh, that's good. 

Timo Yeah, I think I, that's been a hard lesson for me to learn. And. And remembering what you know, my needs are important as well, and that I can't show up the way I would love to for people if I don't also attend to myself. 

Salix Yeah. Yeah, that's very real. 

Timo What about you? 

Salix I'd say like a big lesson that I've kind of had to learn is just like knowing what my own, like, worth was, like my own value and just felt like I deserve to be like, in a healthy and positive relationship. 

Timo Yeah. Hard relate. Exactly. You know, I think both of our answers really come down to like, it seems like there's a lot of parallels in learning about self-love. 

Salix Yeah. 

Timo Thank you for sharing that with me. 

Salix Yeah, thank you for sharing with me. 

Timo Absolutely. Okay. I'm going to pull another one. Do I have any pets? Yes, I do. I have two pets. I have a dog and a cat. What about you? Do you have any animals? 

Salix I have. I've got two dogs and a cat, and I've got some chickens and a rabbit and one singular fish that's still alive. 

Timo So you have a whole menagerie. This is so sweet. You have chickens and a rabbit too? 

Salix Yeah. I used to live in like, a like a homesteading projectesque co-op and when that kind of fell apart, I took some of the chickens and a couple of the rabbits. 

Timo Oh, wow. Tell me about the co-op. What was that like? 

Salix It was, you know, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was super fun. Like we tried to grow our own food and raise chickens and rabbits and ducks.

Timo Wow.

Salix It's a lot of work, though. Not everybody pulled their weight. So.

Timo That's like any group project, right? Like. 

Salix Yeah, totally. 

Timo So hard. Yeah. Well, here I am. I'm dipping back into the bag of mysteries, see what comes out. Oh, my God. Yes yes yes. What is my go to karaoke song? How did you know that I love karaoke? I actually have a karaoke system at home. 

Salix Oh, really? Oh, my gosh. That's the best. 

Timo So the answer is that I have, I have a whole list. I have quite a repertoire. But since I started transitioning, my voice has definitely been changing a bit. And so I don't know. I need to actually I need to go back to singing more so that I can get used to the new range I have. But I've always, my voice has always been kind of on the huskier side. So I definitely go for a Fiona Apple. I definitely go for, I've sung Bjork for sure. That’s not really husky. What about you? Are you a karaoke-- karaokeer? 

Salix Um, you know, it's so funny, cause I feel like I have a very similar experience in the fact that, like, I also am in transition, and. And so now I'm like, my voice, like, it's not as high as I used to be. I can't hit the notes that I used to hit, but I also am not, like quite low enough that I could go full octave down. And so I like in this, like in, like pubescent hell, I'm just like trying to find, like desperately trying to find finds songs that I can actually sing. But I haven't been super, like, successful yet. 

Timo It’s so hard. Oh, yeah, I got my kid kind of teasing me about, like, my voice cracking sometimes I'm like, stop it. What are you talking about? Do you ever do duets? I bet we could find a song where we can, like, you know, we can duet a little bit. 

Salix You know, I haven't done any duets, but I'm open to it. 

Next time I hear Bjork at the karaoke bar I'll think of you Timo. Let’s hear what surprises our next Caller has in store. Here's Cedar.

Cedar Hey, what's up? Round two, I guess. 

Timo Round two. You made it. Your predictions were correct. You. You made. You made it through the first round. 

Cedar You know. You know, my. My mother taught me well, you know, when you want something, you get it. So I'm going to get it. 

Timo Mother. Mother is in the room with us. 

Cedar Not. Not right now, thankfully. But I am a mother's child, so I will say that. But did you get my box that I sent you? 

Timo I got your box right here with me. I'm so excited. Okay, so I've got my scissors and I'm going to open it now. 

Cedar And producers, can we do, like, a drum roll? I'm just kidding. 

Timo Oh, right on top. Look at how beautifully packaged this is. What should I go for through first? What do I pick out first? Does it matter? Maybe going inside will. 

Cedar Be a bigger freakin child and just, it's Christmas day. Just start shredding. 

Timo There's a beautiful box of paints of acrylic paint, and they're neon fucking. What? Cedar. Oh.

Cedar I feel like. I feel like you should just pull everything out and then I'll explain it after.

Timo Okay okay okay okay. What, yes. Oh, we've got a DVD, a double feature. And so in the paintbrushes to go with the paint. Oh, yeah. Wow. Oh, my God. The multi. The big multipack of sharpie. Like, different multi-colored pack of sharpies. Hell, yeah. We got some airheads too, like sours candies and gummies. Oh, cute. What is this giant? What is this giant thing here? What is this pumpkin? Oh, my God. Okay, okay. Okay. So it's all coming together now. It's all coming together now. Okay. 

Cedar Okay, Timo. So my biggest thing was to make a package for you. I know that you said you're an artist as well, and I know that you said you had a child. So my favorite holiday is Halloween, hands down. And I felt like if we were ever to do a date in person, I would want your child to be involved and what's the best way to do it, but then carve a pumpkin. The Shining is one of the scariest movies that I hate to watch, but I would watch it. And I also sent you some of the snacks that I love, which is Airheads, popcorn. We always need popcorn. And then if you look in the package again, there's like a face mask. So I'm thinking in my mind, we can if your child's there or not or if it's just you and I that we put a little face mask on, we put on the little Shining, we we carve a pumpkin, we design a pumpkin and we have a moment. So that in my mind was our date. 

Timo This is our date right now. And I'm I'm eating these Airheads now, which is probably terrible for a show that's audio. 

Cedar Wait this is this is the that the break or the break question what color do you pick first. 

Timo Oh I picked cherry. 

Cedar Oh okay. I would have picked the blue raspberry. 

Timo Blue raspberry's good. Oh, and this is really fun. This pumpkin. Cause that way, it doesn't just dissolve into goo at the end of the season, you have at least one pumpkin that you can put out every year, you know? 

Cedar Yeah. 

Timo I love Halloween. Do you do you go all out when it comes to costumes? 

Cedar I don't go all out, but I do love the holidays. I’m a big Disney adult and so I go to Disney every year during Halloween. I love the villains because they were outcasted, they were never accepted. I saw myself in these villains. 

Timo So who's your favorite Disney villain then? Who do you identify with? 

Cedar Can you answer first? 

Timo Gosh, maybe Ursula.

Cedar Shut up, shut up. 

Timo “I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.” [sings]

Cedar If if if there was video chat, I literally bought an Ursula flannel. 

Timo Oh my gosh so cute.

Cedar Literally an Ursula flannel. She's my favorite character. 

Timo She's the best. Right? 

Cedar Guess what the close runner up is Jafar. 

Timo Jafar? Yeah, I like... Because he's, like, an anti-imperialist, you know what I mean?

Cedar No, You know what I love is the jewel the feather on his head. 

Timo He was sassy, you know, like…

Cedar You know what? If. If we connect, you'll be Ursula. I'll paint you. I'll be Jafar. 

Timo Oh, my God. I love it. Tell me about The Shining.

Cedar Oh, my God. The Shining f’ed me up. Yeah. When I sent the box, my mom did see that. She was like, Why did you buy that? I thought you don't like that movie. I said, You don't know what's going on. I’m still scared of this freaking movie. If I was with you. And we're. We're. We're doing face masks and painting pumpkins, I would watch it. I might be on your lap at the end of the night, but. 

Timo Don't worry. I'll hold you in my big, strong arms. Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe. You'll be like, I can't sleep. I can't sleep. Tell me about your mom. You know, you've brought her up a lot, and she means a lot to you, so I'd love to hear more. 

Cedar I mean, I'm not going to lie. I'm a mama's boy. I get that. I'm an only child. She's taught me how to be a person, how to respect people, how to acknowledge people, and how to be proud of who I am, what I am, and where I'm from. And I would instill that into my partner. And if we were to have children or they have children, I would want to instill that into them, too, because we need to be more inclusive and more loving to the world right now. But that's what my mother has taught me.

Timo She sounds amazing. Beautiful.

Cedar I had a good night.

Timo Me too. Me, too. I'll talk to you soon. 

Cedar Okay, babe. Bye. 

Timo Bye. 

Whew, that was close. At first I thought Cedar sent a real pumpkin— that would one day turn into goo!

Coming up, one Caller gets the hang up. And Timo reveals who’s topping their list.

Timo I feel so funny talking about people's boxes. 

Stay on the line!

Robot voice: Welcome to the Hang Up Hotline. Our Star Timo and all Callers are already on the line now. To enter, please say the password.

Zakiya: Number two arm wrestler of Northern New Mexico

Robot: You may enter.

Zakiya Hello Callers, and welcome back to the Hang Up Hotline. 

Callers Hi Zakiya! Hola. 

Zakiya So you've all had a chance to woo our star with your Touch Tone date. But unfortunately for one of you, your call ends here with a hang up. So, Timo, have you made your decision? 

Timo I have. 

Zakiya Which caller are you choosing to hang up on? 

Timo The person I'm going to hang up on is Ness. Actually, she stood me up, so I wasn't able to go on the date with her. 

We tried getting in touch but Ness never responded. We don’t know if it had anything to do with the show but for whatever reason, Ness couldn’t make it to her date with Timo and never got back in touch.

I'm disappointed that we weren't able to get to know each other better, but I really hope that she's doing okay. 

Muriah I don't understand how anybody could hang you up or stand you up. 

Cedar That was a chump move. 

Timo Oh, I mean, we don't know. We don't know what's going on, you know? And honestly, like I said, I hope she's doing okay to be completely selfish and honest. Like, it took the choice out of my hand. 

Zakiya So we want to give you all a little bit more info on who has a leg up right now. So Timo who sent you your favorite box and why?

Timo Oh, Billy, your box was just. I feel so funny talking about people's boxes. I’m sorry.

Billy You can talk about my box. I wanna talk about my box. 

Timo It was really, really beautiful. All of that was just really touching. And I felt very connected. 

Billy That feels really sweet. I'm very much blushing. 

Cedar Ha rah ha rah. Okay, now let's go to the next one. Who was close, but no cigar. Who was the next runner up?

Zakiya OK I’m gonna swoop in, I think that’s enough intel. So I want to say congrats to all of y'all because you made it through the first two dates. And now that you're starting to feel comfortable with Timo, it's time to take this relationship to the next level. The theme of the next date is Phone a Friend. 

Timo: Yes! I’m so excited about this one.

Zakiya I know you're loving chatting it up with Timo, but they won't be part of your next date. Instead, you'll be on the phone with one of their friends or family members, and it's up to you to show them that you're a good match for Timo because that person will tell Timo who they think Timo should hang up on. and you'll find out next week who's dialing in instead of Timo. So stay on the line. 

Caitlin: Hello. You’ve reached the Hang Up Voicemail. Leave a message at the <beep>

Muriah This is Muriah. If I had to choose today to take the cash or the vacation, I would definitely choose the vacation, because I believe that Timo and I have a connection, and I know that we would have an excellent time. 

Cedar Hey what's up it's Cedar. Would I take the cash or the vacation? Honestly I'm kind of on the fence. It's like the devil's on my shoulder, the angel's on my shoulder right now, the devil’s scratching. And I feel like I would take the cash. Cash money, baby. 

Salix Hello, this is Salix. If I had to choose today to take either the cash or the vacation, I would definitely choose the vacation. I just feel like we would have, like, a good vibe and have fun, just, like, hanging out. And we still have the rest of that bag of mysteries to finish. 

Billy Hi, Billy. I am trying to respond to if I would choose between the vacay or the 1K, and I think regardless, I would want to share space with Timo. IDK it's it's really tricky to say. 

Hang Up is created and produced by me, Caitlin Pierce.

Our host and story editor is Zakiya Gibbons.

Our sound designer, mix engineer, and story editor is Ben Montoya.

And that’s it— our whole team is just three people. We put so much time and love into Hang Up because we believe in this show— And we get to make it weird and silly and queer and exactly what we want it to be because we are independent.

But to stay independent, we need your support. Here’s a few ways you can help:

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Our sounding board is Allison Behringer, Karla Corrales, Chioke I’Anson, and Grayum Vickers.

Music by Jeff Carter and Stephen Pathe of Sandy - hear more at sandy-sounds.com

Show Art by Alex Teschel.

Season Two Art by Marquez Torres.

Studio recording by Walter Nordquist of Brooklyn Podcasting Studio and Roman Garcia of KUNM.

This episode uses many sounds from Freesound, for the full list check out our website— hangupshow.com.

Special thanks to Bess Friedman, Trevor Birt, Toni of Albuquerque Social Club, Michael Burdick of Sidewinders, Quinn Heraty, Nellie Giles, and the Radio Diaries team. 

Thanks also to the people supporting us at Radiotopia and PRX.

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